My update

Here’s an update on how I’ve been serving a straight athelete for several months!

We’re over two months in to a contracted ownership situation. It’s been different serving a straight man who’s as busy as he is! Fitting into and around his life is part of my duty to Sir as my superior, Alpha and owner. So I’ve been working hard in all of the following areas to adjust adapt and submit to his every need! Subs might find this list helpful in their own submission.

  1. First and foremost I’ve been actively earning funds as hard as possible, since having contracted myself as property to my Owner, everything that was mine is now his. And working hard to ensure funds are available for your owner at any time in any way is essential in the long run if you’re to serve fully in every area of life. The way I’ve been going about this over the past few weeks is to take on the responsibility of things like his monthly car insurance payments, agreeing a new finance agreement on a better vehicle than the one he had, providing regular contributions to his food and entertainment budget. Anything is good and letting your owner guide you as to how he wants to use you is by far and away the best way to fulfill your obligations as an inferior.
  2. I’ve also been working on this body my Alpha now owns. Dropped most alcohol from my diet and lost a lot of weight exercising because I can serve better only when I’m fit enough to keep up!
  3. My owner has guided me into becoming more and more open about being his property, and pushed my boundaries without me anticipating or asking him to. Introducing me as his property to work colleagues, family, girlfriend, I’ve been outed gradually to most of the people around him. I’ve trusted this is what’s best for me and found it much easier to serve without anxiety when I don’t have to pretend I’m a real man anymore. I can just obey and serve.
  4. As always I’ve been using hypnotic content to ensure my mindset remains in submission to my owner and my own needs are secondary to his. I do this voluntarily because I find it helpful when I have my own desires surface to follow my instructions rather than simply behave like an animal and pursue my own urges destructively. It really is good for me to Obey.
  5. As you’d expect I’ve made sure I’m available at all times, so running errands has been crucial in ensuring my Owner has everything he needs. It’s been a gift to drive to see him at the drop of a hat with whatever items he needed me to source. Serving is joy for a sub and being in your Owner’s presence is pure heaven!
  6. The only instruction I’ve really struggled to follow is to not speak to other Alphas. Having served all straight men without question for such a long time previously (Check out my other posts) it’s been challenging resisting the natural urge to obey all Superior Alphas at all times. Now I actually have to ensure it’s my Owner’s instructions I follow first and foremost. I can’t simply allow other Alphas to draw me into submission. Loyalty is everything. So I have managed to resist my own compulsion to obey all Alphas, simply because doing so is obeying my Owner. Obedience is inexorable and my primary purpose after all!

I’ve also been working with other Subs to help clarify our place as inferiors in the modern world! If you’re a sub finding your way, feel free to hit me up so I can help lead you in the correct direction!

Submission in 2020

Unprecedented times. Perfect for exploring your complete submission to Straight Alpha Men!

I’ve been lucky so far this year. Despite lock-down in the UK, i still manage to serve a Straight Alpha man all day every day. He was here when the lock-down began and didn’t leave!

This particular Alpha is pretty consistent. Not phased by adapting to the circumstances he finds himself in, capable of self-management, before I knew it, he’d set up a home gym in the garden, using some light free-weights, ropes and the wooden frame on the side of the treehouse he’d already built when things were normal.

It’s a treehouse in the sense it’s a house in a tree. But of course it’s designed with other things in mind. It’s dry inside, there are windows on one side, an entrance hall with a partition and a bar-style window on one side, solid wall with no window on the other. There’s a hole in the floor in one corner which leads to a covered ‘basement’ underneath where I see a rack and various tying apparatus. And as we speak he’s fitting a ceramic urinal above the hole.

It hasn’t been said or even implied this may become where I live, I doubt that’s what he has in mind. But anything’s possible with an Alpha.

He’s not my owner. I’ve recently become contracted to a new Alpha, a straight footballer (that’s ‘Soccer player’ to the Yanks) with professional experience, and an utterly ruthless determination to milk inferiors for all they’re worth. And they’re in no short supply!

How I became contracted so quickly I’m not entirely sure. It was his idea. Once I’d confessed to him my history, I think he wanted to test out if what i was telling him was true. It’s a bit out there when a straight man first comes across a hypnotised Sub who cannot refuse straight men’s instructions.

A few orders fulfilled and he decided I was his. That was that, I signed the contract and now I don’t know what the future holds.

I don’t need to know. He is a real Alpha. He really will know best as things unfold what’s best for me, for him, for the world. And I submit. That’s what I was born to do.

The first time I meet him it’s a car wash he has demanded. Cleaning his car in front of his work place, his builder colleagues milling about, straight Alphas every single one. And they know. I can tell they know that I’m a Sub. He’s probably told them. They don’t exactly treat me differently, it’s just there’s a vibe. Like when I’m around they’re aware, and they’re conscious of everything I do or say. Almost like they’re waiting to see how a faggot behaves, unsure whether it’ll be obvious with everything i do or if it’s hidden behind the facade of normality, barely perceptible to them if they hadn’t been prepped.

There’s a genuine sense of uncharted territory and mystery in the air, and it seems to me it’s because each and every one is curious about what they might be able to do, say or experience. I feel like a 21st century muse. Some kind of living breathing focal point for one of the defining questions of our time. What is a man? What is an Alpha? And what do they do when they have an inferior so clearly willing to submit? Even Inferiors can dream.

Helping a straight Alpha dominate you

As an increasingly open inferior, I’ve learned that the more straightforward you are about what you really think and feel, the easier and faster it becomes to do what you are born to do.

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Part of my journey this year has been to openly serve as many straight or bi men as decide they want to use me. Until owned, it is liberating to enjoy the freedom to let go and simply be a man-servant, a tool and an object for a real man’s designs. The more you submit and accept total power exchange the more skilled you become in identifying the needs of an Alpha intuitively, and providing exactly what he needs.

And very recently I’ve begun to serve a younger Alpha, who responded to my invitation to use me however he wants to, with real interest. Inexperienced at dominating a man, this 19 year old who shall remain anonymous, is for all intents and purposes interested in women, and therefore mostly straight. However a sure-fire sign of his Alpha status is the fact that he tries stuff just to see what he likes and doesn’t care even one iota what anyone really thinks of what he does. As he pointed out to me last night after fucking a Milf with her husband present, he had no real interest in the man hated it when he tried to tell him what to do, but loved fucking the crap out of his wife and would go again anytime, despite the fact some dude is in the room. This was the first time he’d played with a couple, and at the age of 19 he seems so confident and certain of everything he does that you’d simply never know he’s a novice.

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Me being the faggot I’m becoming, and having served older more experienced straight men long-term, I can see just how fantastic this young man will be as he grows, not just as an Alpha, but as a human being. So for me to be permitted to serve him is different from anything I’ve done before and an opportunity like no other. Obviously, I’m putting my faggot heart and soul into it.

This turned me to thinking about how I could help him become more of what he so obviously already is. My initial approach was way too eager, suggesting this asking that, almost like I’d forgotten my place altogether. But after I calmed down a little I could see that what I needed to do was be patient and offer small but helpful suggestions only when appropriate, enjoying what a real man does naturally and letting him lead the way.

So I thought I’d put down in writing some things that seem to me to be useful things a new dominant might benefit from reading, if they’ve got an interest in the mind of a faggot and want to control it as effectively as possible right from the start.

And it’s a complicated question in some ways. Because yes there are some tried and tested methods that work for some faggots some of the time. But often, a fag will run away or try to escape when things seem too challenging or scary. And part of the process of truly breaking a fag, is to help them reach a place where running away seems like the worse option, and surrendering to their fate is really the only choice, in the end.

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Hardcore as that sounds, it is I think, at the root of how to control a fag long term, and for life. It does choose to keep following it’s path as the path unfolds before it, but ultimately, a fag needs showing the way. And sometimes needs pushing. Or dragging. It’s genuinely what’s best for it in the long run. An Alpha knows this deep down as does the fag. And it’s a question for the Alpha how gently or forcefully he leads the Fag along it’s inevitable path to servitude.

So for a new straight, or bi Alpha god, who wants to control a fag long term, I offer freely this advice.

  1. Understand from the very beginning, that deep down, that fag wants you to control it. It thinks about you hurting it. It thinks about it’s powerless in front of you, how vulnerable it is if you decided to destroy it. It wants you to take it over. It will change it’s mind at different times, naturally. It will struggle. It will scream. It will beg. It will cry. And might even fight or try to run. But it’s basically fighting with itself not entirely with you. It’s really a battle between it’s own misplaced desire for self-preservation, and it’s deep – seated need to surrender that power of it’s preservation, to an Alpha.  There’s no getting around this. It’s where the process can butt up against  society’s norms and acceptable practices time and again. But there’s a truth here that an Alpha will see for himself as he walks his own journey of Alpha-hood. And needs to be at the core of the whole process at least silently in the mind of the Alpha.
  2. A fag is motivated by sexual desire. A fag is also motivated by a desire to seek an Alpha’s approval in whatever tiny way he might manage it. These are two pillars of motivating a fag. Think about whether you’re going to allow it either. And if you are, under what circumstances and why. You can drive a fag near insane by refusing it what it needs. And it’s a very effective means of control, to hold back what it says it wants. Probably ultimately self-defeating if the inferior can seek what it needs elsewhere. But you don’t have to be fair about when it is or if it is ever allowed what it wants. In fact a truly broken fag may even give up it’s desire and need altogether if you make it. Some dominants like that. Some prefer to allow the fag it’s motivations. It keeps them loyal and also motivates them to be the best it can be. It gains a sense of satisfaction from the fact it does everything it does just to please it’s Alpha. This is going to be a decision for you as the Alpha and under developed fags often benefit from more satisfaction just to keep it on the path.
  3. What you do on any day, can change however you want it to. A fag does need routine and tasks, if you want to get the best out of it. But ultimately, the ONLY thing that really matters as an Alpha, is what you want as the Alpha.
  4. You may not get everything perfectly the way you want it early on. Don’t worry about it. A fag will forget things pretty quickly if you make it, and motivate it. So even if you don’t think that everything you’re doing / not doing is perfectly executed, doesn’t matter. Just keep upping your own game.

Now I could list out a whole host of activities that the fag may already have in it’s mind or that it’s already experienced. But honestly, you can find all sorts of stuff about what gets done to fags on the web in general. Some of it is more extreme than what I’ve come across in daily fag life, but again, it’s going to be up to you how you approach it, and that should be according to what you WANT. So I’ll stop here and maybe add a new blog soon about activities that fags often expect or look for signs of, to help it understand it’s a fag and that it’s owner is truly Alpha. For now, feel free to hit me up for any reason. I’m at your disposal. And thank you for reading.

Why I accept hatred from real men

Seems like a really odd title in today’s tolerant and cooperative world. Why would someone accept that another person hates them? Why wouldn’t they resent that person and defend themselves in any way necessary? Perhaps try to persuade them to change their minds and understand the common things they share?

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In my experience, trying to force change in a real man is a total waste of time. Not only a waste of time, but inherently counter-productive. Presumptuous and wrong.

Ask yourself, what is my aim when I try to force my opinion on someone stronger than me? Why do I want someone to feel a certain way about me? What’s in it for me?

Will it relieve some fears? Will it help me feel more accepted? Will I feel more fulfilled as a result? Whatever the reason there’ll be a payoff. Some reason why it matters, depending on how evolved an individual’s perspective is.

In my case, I no longer feel the need to change another person’s feelings on any subject, especially how they feel about me. I in some ways understand why someone with different sexual proclivities, such as their interest in women, would be disgusted by the thoughts and desires that run through my mind and body. And even more angry when they realise that they are the object of many of them. They might consciously accept that they can do nothing about it, but that doesn’t mean they have to like it. And if it makes them angry, if it brings out a feeling of hate towards me, that’s any man’s genuine prerogative.

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I don’t hate what I am. In so far as I believe I’m what I’ve been made to be. And in that sense, the divine can’t really get it wrong. It’s part of a bigger picture. Part of something of which I’m only a part. There’s something kind of illogical about taking one part of the whole, and criticizing it on an intellectual level. Because it is just an act of dissection, of cutting apart, and therefore failing to see the bigger picture or understand the whole. You don’t hate a cow for having provided you with the steak on your plate.

But emotionally, it’s completely natural to experience emotions that don’t follow what your logical mind says you should, according to what society has decided right now, it wants you to think and feel. If a man hates me because I’m a faggot, that’s ok in my book. If a straight man decides he wants to show me that he hates me, use me and help me understand his perspective, I accept that’s his right. I submit and accept his place as a real straight Alpha man gives him insight I don’t have access to.

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I feel kind of honoured actually that he’s wiling to be honest with me. Because being honest and true with another sentience, is probably one of the most important things a real man can do. And I gain some minor satisfaction that in accepting him as he is, and not trying to change him, I’ve become a stronger version of a faggot than someone who seeks to force a real man to change. I’m actually growing to believe that a connection between a real man and a faggot may be one of the most primal and real connections that exists.

And I also have to accept, that without that passionate and deep hatred on the part of some real men towards my person, I might not have learned many of the truths I now come to accept. I might still be struggling to pretend to be something I’m not. And how unfulfilling and undesirable that now seems to me to be. Almost more disgusting a way of living to me now, as how I might appear to a real man.

I welcome the honest expression of a man’s perspective. Even if it’s detrimental to me.


Read about my recent service to two straight men.

Serving real men

All real men are different. Different from one another, and different from Betas and lower level men. And the best thing about serving real men, is learning their uniqueness and being the lucky one to adapt to it. They’re not afraid to do what they want. And they will, if you let them.

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Take this week so far.

Part of the process of my submission to straight and Alpha men of all kinds, is to approach individuals regularly and tell them what I am. One way or another. I admit to being a faggot, and offer myself in service to them. Leaving them in full control of their response and attempting to adapt to their response in whatever way is required. In other words, total power exchange.

On Monday a straight  man decided he was going to take advantage of my willingness to serve and told me he was coming to my place for a massage on his sore back. I’d pay him the petrol money and he’d see if I was capable of massaging him satisfactorily.

Of course I am, and I did. But what was shocked me when he arrived, is just how amazing-looking this man was. He was 5 foot 8 tall, strong muscular and wiry. Alpha in his confidence and beauty. No hesitation in him. Just direct, and unashamed, and totally comfortable getting naked and lying down in front of a faggot. No self-consciousness at all.

What an honour it was to massage him. His body was tight superior and strong. I could tell he did need a massage, his muscles were used, tense and hard.. Dark short well-groomed hair, gently tanned skin, large flacid dick, and big balls. No doubts at all about his status as top dog. He needed release, and I was free, available and willing. And devoted. Utterly devoted to his complete satisfaction. Anything less than a 100% satisfaction would hurt me inside.

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I worked every area he needed. I focused on every tense spot and worked around his needs according to his feedback. I kneaded, rubbed pushed and pulled, manipulated the muscles and relaxed him until he was drifting happily and confirming he was pleased with me.

I did notice though that after about half an hour he positioned his dick and balls in between his legs so they were pointing downward and there was blood flowing in that direction no doubt. It isn’t for me to assume what he wants, but in order to give him the option to demand release I massaged the inside of his thighs and his arse cheeks, brushing only slightly his balls with the hair on my forearm that was for obvious reasons, standing on end.

His dick grew. And it became obvious what he required as he spread his legs a little further and allowed it to grow more comfortably. I took the hint and brushed his arsehole downwards with the strokes. I applied slight pressure as I did it and his hips reacted gently as I saw he liked it. I gently touched his dick and gripped it so that I could free it from it’s trapped position and rubbed it as it grew in my hand.

Licking the tip was the natural next step and when he moaned I knew which way this must go. Taking it in my mouth I sucked on the end placing my finger in between his arse cheek and gently pressing on his arsehole, which responded. His hips rose and I knew to push my face further down the length of his cock after which I stroked his dick to it’s full length and moved my attention to his arse. Burying my face in to his cheeks I let my tongue tease his hole and held nothing back. I licked and pushed my tongue in and responded to his sounds and movements working his dick with my hand the whole time and giving myself fully to the pleasure he must experience. I held nothing back.

This carried on until he flipped over and I moved to his balls and gooch, licking worshipping and treating every part of him as the most precious and beautiful thing in creation. I started working his dick with my mouth and pushed it all the way into my throat refusing to let it’s significant length and girth stop me. It hit my throat and I had to angle my head so that it could push past my tonsils and enter my throat. I refused to gag.

He groaned and I continued, until he pulled me off and put me back on his balls. This carried on for some time, and I never stopped my intense worship until he finally said the words I’m going to cum. I was surprised he’d left me to choose what to do but there is never a choice in the presence of a real man so I moved straight to the end of his dick and took the load gratefully, just like you’d expect swallowing it all knowing it was good for me and would probably please him.

And that was it. He got up, his head spinning commenting on me being a good boy and admitting I’d made him dizzy. I got him a towel, he decided he wanted to know more about me and talked briefly while he dressed about how I could serve him in future. And that he’d be in touch.

And that was it. I’d successfully pleased a straight guy who was only there because he knew he could use me and that not only would I do anything he told me, but that i’d be discreet about it too.

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Contrast that with last week. A straight man decided that he was intrigued by my confession to him that I served real men, and had no real idea what I was talking about. But like all true Alphas, he wasn’t going to let it pass without investigating. He was direct. And was quick to obtain my name address and phone number. He told me he liked to fuck women, and instructed me to find him one. I did. Arranging a hotel he attended and fucked her without me even being there. This made him happy and he told me so. In future he would let me attend, and might let me clean up afterwards. I don’t know what this means yet, but I’m assuming he’s going to expect me to suck up his cum, or clean his dick. Time will tell.

The point is, straight men should get what they want. That might include anything. It’s not for me to say. It might be sexual, it might be practical. It might be financial it might be social.

Not everyone can submit fully 24 7. Even I have to take it step by step and do what I can being honest and direct when I cannot provide what’s demanded.

But there’s nothing more fulfilling than simply doing what you’re told by a real man. And knowing that in doing so, you’ve made his life better. Right there, right then, right now.

Read The path to my truth.



The path to my truth

My first recollection of my desire to submit to a man, was at about the age of 3.

In those days, the local milkman was a well known friend of the street, talking to his customers saying hi to the kids and generally starting out people’s day with a smile as he dropped off their daily milk orders.

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The old milk floats had blue leather chairs. And as a little boy with the other kids saying “hi,” to the milkman was common. Only, i didn’t say much when in his presence. Looking into his eyes seemed daunting. He was big. He was so much bigger than me. Strong. Charming. And the seat underneath his arse had started to lose it’s colour. Less blue and more yellow. Like the colour of egg yolks.

Each time i saw him i would be a little excited. I wondered in my little kid brain how his seat got so yellow. I wondered if it was because he liked to sit on people’s heads. Squash them while he dropped off the milk. Crush squash and squeeze my little head under his arse until the yolk came out from inside. Such were the thoughts of his 3 year old.

This wasn’t the only memory from early childhood of the need for real men to take me. Pretty much all masculine men were fascinating. What they were capable of. How hypnotic their aura was. How utterly i needed it around me.

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He-man. A cartoon. Representing everything i needed a man to be. Many a time i imagined being so small and dropped inside his pants to get trapped in his over-sized gonads, unable to escape the smell and size of his massive balls.

There was the martial arts instructor. I wanted him to defeat me so badly. In every way. Why didn’t he just kidnap me and keep me in his basement? I didn’t understand what i had to do to make him want me. I got good at Karate. That was about as much as i could do to impress him. He even picked me out for competition. And now I think about it, there was that one lesson he taught me. I had to add this as an edit because I hadn’t notice the poignancy at first. In Shotokan karate lessons, everyone moves through the movements in unison. Everyone has the same foot forward at the same time, left then right then left. On one occasion he personally attended my group and I followed his instructions to the letter. Only for some reason, I had my left foot forward and everyone had their right foot forward at the end. I saw him looking at me so I quickly switched my pose to match the others. He asked me directly, why I switched my position? And of course I said what any kid would say, everyone else had their right foot forward…

He said to me, never do what everyone else is doing. You were right. They were wrong. Go back to your left foot forward. I did. I remembered. It stuck with me.

There were plenty of teachers i wanted to be used by. When i was old enough there were plenty of lessons spent lost in visions of being trapped under his desk while he taught, unable to escape his man groin in my face. Unable to do anything but what i’m told. My school mates. Damn i needed putting down by them, controlling and using. Couldn’t let them know though. Couldn’t let them see. That would be too much.

The best friend i fell in love with. We would fight often. Play fight. I would always lose. Always. But he would never quite finish the job. I knew by then what i wanted him to do. But we never quite got there. Because he wasn’t like me. He wasn’t a faggot.

But he did plenty to mess with my mind be in no doubt. Some level I must have been the sub to his dominance. He wasted no time in humiliating me bullying me, and owning my mind in many ways. It was a natural fit. I just didn’t understand it or have the words to describe it. He owned me in any way a lad can be owned by another. We just never fucked.

I did get laid in my teens. Random friend and i messed a couple of times. And i got plenty when i moved to Soho and got a job in a straight pub.  Nowhere was 100% straight in Soho during the 90’s. And i was young, apparently straight, and ripe for the plucking. Boy did i get plucked. And plucked and plucked.

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And of course on the advice of my straight older brother i did come out to my father and a few people in general. My father’s response was that it made sense, and he’d always known there was something missing. Guess he knew what he was talking about.

It was great.

It wasn’t until much later on though in a relationship that was plainly mutually abusive, that i got worn down enough to let an ex-con, with addictions, into my home and into my life. He fucked me every which way from centre. And i always went back for more. He drained me, fucked me, hit me and used me. And i always got on my knees when he told me to. Again, i had no idea i was being dominated. I always maintained the belief i was a normal guy, gay maybe, but normal.

He raped me. And I’m guessing that was the turning point. The point at which i became truly submissive. And finally learned my place.

Which will be why when he left, i invited a dominant ex-soldier into my life. He had moved in within 2 weeks of meeting me. He’s taken over every aspect of my life within days and i was completely trapped within his control. The domination had become conscious at this stage, i knew what was happening and it felt like what i should be doing. It felt like what i was, and what i was for. And it lasted for years to whatever extent he wanted it to.

I got away with only a broken shoulder thankfully. He never ended me, I guess i was lucky. Because i was less than perfect at submitting. Eventually he let me go. He didn’t need me as much as he used to and i was doing ok at my job. So letting me go got me out of the way for him to lead a more normal life and i lived fairly normally for quite a while!

But of course someone like me never lives normally forever. Eventually the right material, the right person and the right website comes along, and I find it. And i read it and absorb it all the while telling myself I’m normal, it’s just a buzz. I still have control. I’m still straight acting. I’m not like these other fags who get pissed on and used in kink, leather and all that, that’s not me. I’m normal. I’m ok.

But who was I kidding? When was sex with a gay guy ever fully satisfying? When was i ever not obsessing over straight men, and what it would be to be owned by one again? Why was i so obsessed with straight men?

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Because i was born that way. it’s obvious. It’s not the sort of thing a gay guy is allowed to admit, it doesn’t fit with the left-wing ideals of equality for all, gay marriage, gay rights, gay equality. To submit to straight men means a gay man is less than them. It means what so many gay men fight for is undermined. It means they can attack the straight man who interacts with a sub gay, for claiming to still be straight, and try to pigeon hole him into a box that fits more with their world view. Their underlying belief that all straight men are secretly curious or gay.

But you know, once u start being honest with yourself, and look back across the course of your life, if you’re like me, you’ll know. You’ve always aspired to please straight men, sexually mainly, but in any way when it comes down to it. you’ve always looked up at them as if they’re everything you’re not. you’ve always known you don’t match them. You can’t compete. Maybe in specific ways you can do better sure. Maybe you have a skill. Maybe you’re good at something. That’s ok. That’s allowed. But overall, how can you ever compete with the man who’s at the centre of everything? How can you ever compete with a man capable of creating life and a family and who is able to fit in socially with everyone and anyone because of his natural lifestyle? How can you ever actually be fully in control of your life if you’re not a straight man? You’re always going to have to submit to the wishes of someone in some way in order to just survive as a gay man. You can never achieve the kind of control a straight man can over himself or others.

And eventually, preferably sooner than later, if you admit this and see the truth, and stop being a pretend-man, you’ll enjoy pleasures and pains you can only begin to imagine. This kind of total power exchange is the ultimate progression for a true submissive.

I’ll say no more for now. Except, just think about it. And tell me how I’m wrong..